What Can Baby Boomers Teach Us About Being Powerful Women?
(Editor's note: This post was originally published on Levo League.)
At the end of World War II, men and women were gettin’ busy in the bedroom. Wrought from war and struggling in a tough economy, couples turned to each other for love and support and started creating families at a rapid pace from 1946 to 1964. These “baby boomers” were coming of age at the same time around the world – experiencing Beatlemania in Britain, Vietnam protests and Woodstock in the United States, and draft-dodging in Canada. Today, these “boomers” are between the ages of 49 and 67 years old and comprise about 29 percent (75 million people) of the United States population as our parents, grandparents, and colleagues. Fortunately, we can learn a lot from them as they provide wisdom and advice on what they struggled with and what they learned. Because as women, although we have come so far in fifty years, we still have a long way to go.
“Did you pay attention to the election year?” asks Tina Tessina, PhD, psychotherapist, and author of The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After Forty. “Now that women are starting to outpace men in getting college degrees and beginning to make strides in business, there is a backlash. The conservative ‘war on women’ is very real. The old boy network – abetted by the religious right – wants to put women back ‘in their place.’ This is very scary stuff, and I hope the young women today are paying attention. We still need to ratify the Equal Rights Amendment.”
Born in 1963, Sandra Carr remembers that there were only a few women working outside of the home. Most of the women – who only had high school educations and were dependent on their husbands – stayed home to raise their children. According to Carr, women who worked outside of the home primarily held jobs as teachers, secretaries, nurses, retail cashiers, or office clerks. (Sadly, not much has changed: In 2009, the White House Council on Women and Girls stated that nearly one-fifth of all women were employed in those same five occupations.)
“Forty years ago, one-third of all workers were women; now it’s almost half,” says Carr, the Assistant Director of the State Farm Center for Women and Financial Services at The American College. “Most of the women in my community worked because they wanted to have their own money instead of the stipend provided by their husbands.”
In the 1960s, daycare facilities did not exist. For women, the paths to an education and job placement proved difficult because of gender roles and family duties. If the mother was working, how would the house get clean? If she didn’t go to the market, how would dinner be on the table?
“My mother was expected to take care of the house, take my father to work, me to school, my brother to the babysitter, go to school, pick everyone up and have a hot dinner on the table,” Carr explains. “A study in 2009 indicated that 55% of women and 28% of men strongly agree that in households where both partners have jobs, women take on more responsibilities for the home and family than their male partners do.”
For women of color, the road to success was even rockier. They were stereotyped, ridiculed, and viewed as sex objects.
“It was terrible for them,” says Dr. Tessina. “They faced all the racial discrimination plus gender discrimination and very bad treatment at the hands of their men.”
Why was it so hard for women to receive proper support back then? Why is it now? We are discouraged rather than encouraged, and once we start to get successful, there is always backlash. We endorse our men at home, work, and in political office, but once we start to make big strides, we’re criticized and held back. Before the nineteenth amendment was ratified, women weren’t allowed to vote and voice their opinion in the way their local, state, and federal government was run. Can you imagine not being able to have a say in your everyday life?
“I think we still have struggles,” says Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman, psychologist and author of When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves into the Relationship of Their Dreams. “Now women under thirty years old who live in large cities are making more money than their male peers, and more women are getting bachelor’s and graduate degrees than men. However, gender stereotypes still prevail.”
According to Sheryl Sandberg, women are still making 77 cents to every man’s dollar, only running 17 of the 195 independent countries in the world, and holding twenty percent of seats in parliaments globally. We are still being sold into slavery and still being trapped in the sex trade – both nationally and globally – and are still being told what to do with our bodies. We are still being told we “asked for it” and still apologizing for things we never did wrong.
“Much change, much still to do,” says David Bedrick, juris doctor, diplomat of process work, and author of Talking Back to Dr. Phil: Alternatives to Mainstream Psychology. “The idea that we are post-gender issues and post-racial issues is nurtured at the expense of folks who have a long legacy of being demeaned and undervalued. The mainstream culture favors looking at the light and not the shadow; this attitude makes the development of more awareness difficult.”
What have the “baby boomers” (and beyond) taught us? As we channel Betty Freidan and Gloria Steinem and reign in Sheryl Sandberg and Marissa Mayer, who will be our next leading lady? Since our foremothers stood up for voting and birth control and Title IX, what will be our legacy? What can our young, powerful Gen-Y generation do?
From their generation, to ours:
Be heard “It is a gift to have a voice as a woman now and we should use it,” Dr. Sherman says. “In the end, it will empower our children to experience wholeness and balance in each of their parents and in their families. This will ultimately create whole, more open-minded children and future generations.”
Be relentless “We have a lot of ground yet to cover, and there are so many women in the larger world who are one hundred years behind us in progress,” Dr. Tessina says. “Countries like Iran and Afghanistan have gone very far backwards in women’s rights. A good fight now is the fight to teach men not to be violent against women.”
Be aware “Get to know your own nature,” Bedrick suggests. “Find models of the woman you want to be. Be careful of patriarchal attitudes that demean your powers, capacities, intelligence, and beauty – these attitudes exist and leave many women making themselves feel smaller, criticizing their bodies, and feeling less-valued than men.”
Be financially secure “Pursue an education that will lead to employment that gives you a sense of purpose as well as financial security,” Carr says. “Do not allow your lives to become overloaded with credit card debt from the latest ‘it’ traps. There will always be another faster, sleeker ‘it’ before you finish paying for the ‘it’ you have. Instead, learn to pay yourself first. Seek a financial advisor early in your career to help manage debt, build cash reserves, and transition into long-term investments that will transfer into a greater economic security.”
Be necessary Bedrick says, “We need you; we need your gifts, your intelligence. We need you as you are. There is no one like you, and many have paid a price for your life to flower.”