‘It’s Not You, It’s Me’ Except Actually, It Is You. Science Says So.

(Editor's note: This post was originally published on Levo League.)

In high school, you swooned over the quarterback and cheered at all his games. Your homecoming date in college was the sexy lead singer of a band; he thought he was too cool to attend, but you wanted to show him off. And in your twenties, you and your girls flirted with every bartender and CPA that bought you a drink.

They were all sexy, and they knew it. And maybe you found one that was ready to be serious about a relationship and “not like the others”. But most likely – as the years went by and the hangovers took longer to combat – you traded in McDreamy for McStable.

But do you regret it?

According to a new study by UCLA researchers, you might. The research shows that at our most fertile period, we’re less likely to feel close to our McStables and more likely to be irritated with them than women who are dating sexually desirable men.

Damn you, Aunt Flo (do women still call her that?) and your disapproval of my man!

“Women’s evaluations of their relationship and their partner change during the high-fertility phase of the cycle immediately preceding ovulation, and how their evaluations change depends on how sexually desirable their partners are,” says Christina Larson, the study’s lead author and a doctoral candidate in social psychology at UCLA.

In the study, Larson and Martie Haselton, a professor of psychology and communication studies at UCLA and senior author of the study, asked the women to rate the sexual attractiveness of their mates.

“Women answered questions such as, ‘How desirable do you think women find your partner as a short-term mate or casual sex partner, compared to most men?’ and ‘How sexy would women say your partner is, compared to most men?’” Larson explains.

They also asked them a series of questions about their man’s stability or suitability as a long-term partner and his present and future financial status compared to other men.

And in their research of 41 undergraduate women in long-term heterosexual relationships, Larson and Haselton uncovered telling changes that occur in our behavior during ovulation, including the fact that women whose mates are less sexy and masculine tend to be more attracted to other men during the few fertile days leading up to ovulation. To catch a predator mate, we tend to dress up more, speak in a higher-pitched, more feminine voice, and refrain from contact with our male kin. (Note: I wear sweats and eat Oreos, speak with my mouth full of said Oreos, and only hang out with my brother and father because I’m too ashamed to see my boyfriend.)

“I don’t think these results suggest that women are shallow,” Larson says. “Rather, the results suggest that women’s priorities change over the ovulatory cycle in ways that were likely to have benefited our ancestors. But, it does suggest that men aren’t alone in valuing physical attractiveness in a mate.”

After their initial research, Haselton and Larson refined the study and repeated it with 67 other co-eds in long-term relationships. Again, the results were the same: Around the point of your ovulation, if your man’s ugly, he gets less lovin’.

So what does this all mean? Are the McStables headed for Splitsville? Will your wonderful relationship take an adulterous turn? The experts say no.

“We don’t have any evidence that this [study] leads women to cheat on their partner,” Larson says. “In fact, we found that women were equally committed to maintaining their relationship at high fertility, and their perceptions of the availability of alternative relationship partners also did not change across the cycle. So, although women’s feelings are influenced by their reproductive hormones, they are by no means slaves to these hormones, and unable to consciously control their behaviors.”

Phew!

What’s more, Haselton and Larson are soon planning on observing men to see if they ever pick up on our odd ovulation behavior. (I, fresh from the beauty salon typing this near my boyfriend, am going to say err, no, they don’t).

Ladies, be happy and confident in your relationships! You’re only human, and now you know a little bit more about the idiosyncrasies brought on by your period and how your wandering eye is hormonal. Love your McStable, and for god’s sake, if you’re single, go find a McDreamy – for all of us.

#Relationships #Sex #Love #Science #Health